Today I feel very lethargic

I don’t know why but I feel very lethargic today. I just don’t feel well. Am I dying?
Anyway don’t think so. I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I was in class and I didn’t feel like teaching. I was not motivated to teach. Then I went around asking people "how can I motivate my students to learn when I am not motivated to teach?" Well no one really has an answer to the question. Me too. I hope I will be better tomorrow.
I went for a run after picking up my beloved niece. She is also very tired. The moment I carried her, she rested on my shoulder and fell asleep. I guess she is as tired as I am now. My run did some good to me. The wind was blowing against me and that really feels refreshing. I felt as though it was the Holy Spirit blowing His breath on me.
God, set my heart at rest that I may love and serve You better!
the gatekeeper 07

Our Perserverance

I decided last night that I will pay YCCA, Yishun Christian Church (Anglican) this morning for service. YCCA was the first church that I went to after my conversion 20 something years ago. Yesterday I did a count and realized that I have been a Christian for 20 plus years.
The sermon this morning was on Perserverance. It was a simple sermon. I like one of the pointers in his sermons, that is, even when there is a change of plan, we need to hang on there. The promises of God is sure and stedfast, even though there is a change of plan. His promises are always Yes and Amen in Christ Jesus our Lord and God.
As he was talking about this, I was thinking about my career and calling as a teacher. Is there a change of plan? or will there be? How do I make sense of His promises when there is a change in this plan? Should I go into business with my colleague? Alot of questions were running through my mind. I have no answer to all these questions but one think I know, whatever the changes may be, God’s promises are always Yes and Amen in Christ Jesus our Saviour.
I need God Yahweh to show me His way and guide me in His purpose for me. I have come to a crossroad. I need to make a choice. But which one? Perhaps it is time for me to get down on my knees and pray and seek His face! It is time!
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What is the value of Education?

What is this thing call Education?
Recently I have heard of someone who got a poor grading for his/her performance last work year. His/Her supervisors and him/her sat down to discuss what they need to do to help him/her. Interestingly, they told this person that they would try to off load him/her from other duties so that this person can focus on teaching and learning before he/she is reviewed again. I was thinking about the case and finds it very puzzling. Why must they wait till this person got a poor grading then they make the decision to off load him/her from all other duties to focus on teaching and learning? Does that mean that teaching and learning is of the least of importance? Should not this be the first thing to do when any teacher decided to answer the high calling to teach and to educate the next generation?
What is the value of education in our society today? Where do we place education? How do we make sense of this thing call education? I have heard many teachers (both locals and overseas) complaining that they have no time to plan their lessons and as a result they simply take their books and go into the classroom. After one to two hours, or sometimes three hours of classroom lessons, they have to rush back to the office and continue on with what is more important to the schools, that is the various administrative works, projects initiated by the school leaders and other programmes which sometimes have very little to do with teaching and learning. Some says that teaching is 70% admin and 30% teaching. Then where is the place of teaching and learning in this whole thing call Education!
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a time to be born, and a time to die

Death, whoever it may be, always cause us to reflect on life. Yesterday afternoon, my colleague’s mother passed away. As a school and friends, we have been praying for her and asking God Yahweh to prolong her life. Well, it was the Lord’s will to take her life away. She is not a Christian, neither is my colleague. However, my colleague is open to prayers and to the ministry of God.
I was pretty moved by what he said when I met him this afternoon. He was telling me about the regrets of not spending more times with the mum and bringing her out often and so on. Well though not the first time hearing such regrets being passed, but still it keeps one thinking about what is important in life. We are always so busy with so many things and so often we have neglected the people around us who love us and care for us. We always take it for granted that we will always have them around when tomorrow’s Sun rise from the east. We always take it that we will always have them to celebrate the next Chinese New Year or the next year end Christmas. However, we never and never can know.
What God really wish us to do is to be aware of the timing that he has set for every event. Be it spending a nice, warm afternoon by the seaside with our love ones, or enjoying a cosy dinner together as a family, or just simply enjoying each other’s presence in the living room. All these are holy and divinely ordained by the Lord God. Or perhaps, be it moments of anguish that we have, or memories of hurts and pains, they too are ordained by the Lord to mould us. The bottomline is that God makes all things beautiful in His own time.
Solomon in all his wisdom said, "He (God) has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecc 3:11).
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Sugar Alot Alot

Wow….my glucose level this morning is very high. 17.3. Pop in the medicine that I have and hopefully by afternoon the glucose level will go down. Perhaps I should really go and see the doctor some day. This is what I will do:
  • I will cut down on rice in-take.
  • I will cut down my sugar in-take. (this is definitely)
  • I must find time to continue my running regime. This year I haven’t done a single run yet. Gross right!

I think it is because of the green tea freeze I took at Starbuck yesterday. Guess today I have to check my glucose level before every meal that I take. Better check man

Guess that’s all for this morning. Wishing all a nice and pleasant day! Remember "This is the day that the Lord hath made, we will rejoice, be crazy about it and be glad in it….ha ha hah

Remember: God made the day for YOU!

Extended Prayer

Heavenly Father,
I thank you for the gift of teaching.
I thank you for teachers who have dedicated their lives
for such sacred service. Lord, you know that teaching is
a job that requires more than just a passion. It is a divine
calling, a holy commission. At the same time, teachers
who dedicated their lives have opened themselves too to many
hurts and disappointments. Many because of such
hurts and disappointments have their passion and calling going down
the drain. Many have lost their passion to impact young lives and to
develop them into men and women of integrity and courage.
Lord, our teachers need healing and restoration.
Our teachers need to be encouraged and to be spurred
to keep the fire going. God, you know the daily struggles that they have to go through. Lord, you know the silent cry every morning before the school’s bell go signalling the beginning of a new day in school. Lord, you know how they feel like a tattered soldier after a whole day of teaching and their many other duties.
Lord, empower them. Strengthen them and keep them alive and well each day.
Heal them of their wounds and bruises. Bind their broken hearts and deliver them from all their troubles. Bless our teachers O Lord! In Jesus’ name. Amen!


My feeling to resign from the teaching vocation remains pretty strong. Like I said to to my reporting officer, I am only short of submitting the resignation letter. I find the term ‘resignation’ very apt in my case. I really resigned from all my passion and aspiration about teaching and education. I am sad to do so but I cannot see myself carrying on with it. It is a big struggle to stay in the teaching vocation and at the same time knowing that  things are really not what it seems to Abram, I need to allow God Yahweh to lead me to the place that He will show me. I have a few more months to look for a good and decent job to quit.
My feeling to leave the vocation is a mixed feelings. On one hand I am happy to see my bond coming to an end. On the other hand, I am very sad to leave the vocation that I am once full of passion and aspiration. I hate the fact that I am no longer passionate about being a teacher. I am sad, very sad. It’s like someone telling you that you have heard your calling wrongly.
I really hope that SC will cool down for a while before submitting his resignation. I know that it is pretty firm for him to leave but I hope he won’t submit until his bond is done. I know he is as frustrated as I am because he felt that his passion has been sabotaged.
All that I can do now is to pray for SLK , SC and of course myself, that God will lead us through this difficult times and bring us to the place of success in our lives.
the gatekeeper 07

Thank God It’s Friday

Praise the Lord! It’s finally Friday. This has been a long week for many of us. Why? Well, this is the first full week for us. From Monday to Friday and with lots of work and dealines to meet. God is real good to see us through this week. Anyway, the week so far has been smooth going and my secondary one classes are all pretty okay except for a handful of potential trouble makers. Well, I guess nothing is really perfect. It’s still the 80-20 rules: 80% of the people in the organisation will help you to achieve what you want and there will always be that 20% who will not move together with you. Actually I am not true if I really believe in this myself.
For the rest of the week, my prayer is that
Fill my eyes O my God
With the vision of the Cross
Fill my heart with love for Jesus the Nazarene!
Fill my mouth with Thy praise
Let me sing through endless days
Take my will let my life be wholly Thine! Amen.

Whatever happen to their passion?

It’s sad to see so many teachers’ passions being reduced to nothing over the past one year plus. What is happening? Once a passionate teacher and today we hear so much talks about resignation and "seeing open". Once a sacred calling but now they call it "shitty" job. Whatever is happening to their passion? It’s not easy to be a teacher. But yet, so few really appreciate the works of a teacher. So few really understand the hardships and mental struggle of a teacher. Even among fellow teachers, the level of sympathy or empathy varies. On one hand teachers are expected to perform the duty of an educator, on the other hand, they are overwhelmed by the demands for them to be a good accountants, counsellors, managers and administrators and the list goes on. Perhaps many teachers are facing a serious identity crisis about their career. Who are we exactly? We are professionals but in what area? Or are we really professionals?
And thus, teachers sometimes are confused regarding their so called "sacred duty". Furthermore, they are often being branded in terms of grade which is subjected to aspects of their jobs which has little to do with teaching and learning. And such branding make teacher dis-believe in themselves and eventually their passion. They no longer feel that this is a noble vocation but just another job. If teaching has been reduced to just another job, then what is the value of education?
Many teachers need healing and restoration!
What teachers really need is lots of encouragement and recognition.
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