Vision of the Cross

Last night I had another exciting night with the Lord. I was just listening to some worship songs and my eyes were closed. As I closed my eyes to meditate upon the love of God, I saw an image flashing across my mind. It was the Lord hanging on the Cross. I was at the foot go the Cross and as I lift my head, I was gazing at His feet. As I gazed at the crucified Christ, I saw His blood dripping from His marred and wounded body. His blood dripped on me as well. As a I looked at such a sight, I realized how much Jesus loves me. I realized how much we are all loved by the Lord. We will never know how much it costs Him to be there on the Cross. We will never understand how costly is it our salvation is.

Gosh! Such a sight put me to shame. How can I forget His love? How can i ever forget His mercy? I was speechless and I learned one thing: we will never be able to out-love God!

In the process of thinking and reflecting, I have been thinking of the process of letting go of things that are holding me down. I have been thinking about why is it so difficult to let go of things in life? It is so easy to pick them up, but when it comes to letting go, most of us will find it difficult. What is the psychology behind this? I have many things to let go and I need God to release me to love Him again. Like Christian in the book Pilgrim’s Progress I have a heavy burden which I need to come before the Cross of Jesus and let it go there. I guess sometimes we are so used to the weigh of the burden that we have grown to be comfortable with it. How strange this is? Yes, so strange to be comfortable with our burden! The fact of the matter is that sometimes we actually love these burdens. We allow them to get a hold of us and thus, when we need to release them, we are so unwilling to do so.

I spoke to my mum over dinner and I shared with her that I have things that I need to let go in my life. All that she said was, “Do it slowly!” What a wise and profound advise from her. Yes, I guess I need to do this slowly. I am so glad that my mum has been very supportive of me in my decisions. When I told her I wanted to take no pay leave to rest, she supported me. When I said I need to go Bhutan, she supported me as well. When I said I needed time to be alone, she will always say, “Go…but do come back early…” What else can I say about my mum? She is just there no matter what happen and no matter what’s the situation. My mum is not educated at all but she sure knows what is it to be a mother. I thank God for her and I pray that God will bless her in many ways as well.

the gatekeeper


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